I was just discussing with one of my female friends, how people especially your female friends in Indian Society change abruptly when they are about to get married. In India, girls "get married" rather than girls "marry". Yes, I was talking about how they change their behaviour abruptly. In a patriarchal society like India all what matters for a girl after her marriage is her husband, nothing else. She just devotes everything to her husband, even her dreams of flying like a free bird and do something meaningful in her life, despite the fact that she is a PhD in Nuclear Physics. She has to forget her friends especially male friends who were the lifeline for her a few months ago when she was single. It does not matter how many girls her husband meets in a day. What matters is that the girl should "stay away" from her male friends and not communicate the way she used to communicate, when she was single. The patriarchal system executes this in an impeccable manner. Girls raised in this system automatically try to avoid most important male friends when they are about to get married. This is something weird in India. I find it awful and ridiculously impractical behaviour considering they are PhDs or high educated individuals. Why do girls lose command over their lives when they are going to get married or they are married. Come on, I mean why would an educated girl do that? Does she need to prove that she is a good girl and she is going to be a faithful wife? What about the faithfulness of the husband? No cares about that. I am just so unhappy about it. People are highly educated but when it comes to the rights of girls/women/wives, their thinking is still so patriarchal and medieval. If you ask me, I will give all the freedom to the partner... do whatever you want to, fly high and achieve your dreams, I will take care of things that normally housewives do, but if you try to cheat on me, I will kick you out of my life forever without any regret.
What is the meaning of life when you have no dreams to achieve? Getting married to have a man beside you and having children is not what life is all about. They are essential part of it but they are not everything. After marriage, most of the girls in India forget about their dreams of having a meaningful life. They just devote everything to a person who is called husband. Of course, he is the most important person in their life but they themselves should be the most important person in their life. I don't ask girls to rebel against their families and husbands but they should not forget that they have their own life. They are not servants and slaves. Loving husband and children is okay but one must have something to achieve in her life apart from husband's and children's love and care.
What I mean to say is that a girl is an individual first and she should strive to develop a self-esteem rather than thinking oh! I have got superman and he is going to do everything for me. What I generally see is that girls are too much dependent on males in Indian society. I just hate this mentality from the core of my heart. Every girl wants to marry a person who is earning more than her. However, when it comes to other rights, they want equal footing with men. That is ridiculous. How can they think of equality in relations until they are earning equal amount of money as their husbands? Men generally marry girls who earn less than them or do not earn at all? Will a girl do the same? Will she marry a person who is earning less than her? I think a normal Indian girl is never going to do that. That is actually the slave mentality of women in our society and I am sure this mentality is the product of their upbringing in a patriarchal society. It deeply hurts me when I see such educated girls forget their self-esteem and rejoice that they have got a husband who earns more than them. In their childhood, it is their fathers who take care of them, in their teenage it is the brothers who take care of them, in their adulthood, it is their husbands who are their custodians and supermen and in their olden days, it is their boys again who take care of them. So, throughout their life, it is always a male who is their hero, they themselves never try to be a superwoman/heroine for their husband and children. Will it ever change? Will we witness a day in India when girls will marry boys earning less them and boys earning less than their wife will eagerly do what a working/non-working wife normally does nowadays (doing job + taking care of household chores)?